Apparently you read my blog.
So the other day you told me you read my blog, or shall we say vaguely read some posts; why? Don’t shout out my blog name and try to make it sound like that was a connection because we used to know each other. Matter of fact don’t try to overcompensate the fact that we ever used to know each other.
I’m writing this not because I’m angry, upset or even annoyed. But when it comes to you, it’s better to write about how I exactly feel rather than to have some false conversation that lasts 5 minutes. Because at the end of the day, I suppose I did know you and I can see when your trying a little bit too hard to make everything seem not too awkward. Fair play to you.
Everyone always comments that the word “Hate” is such a strong word and that people use it with distaste, I agree. So I do not hate you, but at the end of day I don’t particularly like you either. Which I would say is fair enough right?
I’ve seen you maybe 3 times over the past couple months, which is strange because after we don’t talk. I never see you again. I still kinda of find it difficult to look in your eye without either laughing or crying. My whole body literally tenses up, not because I see you with someone else or when your drunk; but to me it’s more like wow that guy kinda of used to be my friend or as he used to label it “bestfriends”. That’s the only thing that makes me genuinely sad about this entire thing.
The only thing that I wanted from you after all that bullshit happened was an sincere apology. I would have respected you so much more if you sent me a text saying, hey shit went down I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same way about you and that I don’t see us like that but our friendship means more to me so let me disappear for a while and then maybe we could just be friends who have banter again. That’s what would have salvaged a “Okay” friendship between us. But I guess we just don’t think about stuff the same way.
A friend would not leave his “bestfriend” in the middle of town crying by herself and walked away with his head up high,that was actually the point where I realised you did not give a shit. There were so many different ways for you to end it on nicer terms, but you didn’t.
This is not a rant, trust me. But a way for me to just express my feelings in a very detailed way.
On the other hand, everything has been going great for me. Literally ace. I have 2 jobs, currently on holiday and university straight when I come back. I absolutely love living by myself because I’ve realised I’m a BOMB cook and a clean freak which works out very well… And don’t worry just because I’m writing this long ass message about you does not mean I haven’t moved on. LOL. Because I have, and literally have met some great people since you. Keep it light and casual right, well that’s what I’m doing anyway and it’s working for me.
That last half paragraph kinda of made me seem like some major slut who preys on the Vitamin D. Nice one Laura!
Anyway I think I’m going to end it here, on a high I would say. I will message you the link to this because I do want you to read this and genuinely have a think about the things I have written about. Probz never see you again anyway,so this is a good way to just say everything at once.
Alright I’m jetlagged and hot, so that’s it.
HAHA, here’s a proper goodbye. 😜